Fairy Prince
by Satanic Tiger Bunnie of Doom
Summary: Toshiro was going for a peaceful walk when fairies approached him and claimed that he was their Prince.I DONT OWN BLEACH. *WARNING* you may pass out due to lack of oxygen from excessive rofl-ing
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hey peoples! This is my very first fanfiction. It's a birthday present to my best friend. The story may not be very good, but I plan to write more. I just need support and criticism. I'm a big girl, I can take it. Well, the least you can do is make the criticism constructive. Oh, and I have bad grammar; sorry if there are mistakes. Please tell me about 'em if you seem 'em.

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It was early spring, where it was still decently cold out in the Seireitei. The trees started to bud but wouldn't bloom for quite some time. The midnight air in the forest was cooler than it had been during the day. He could just barely make out the full moon through the canopy of trees. The light that radiated off it made rays through the open spots, illuminating his path with slashes of silver. The small Captain was focusing on other things besides the breathtaking scenery. He was wondering why people are so annoying and don't understand a thing. That was the purpose for this walk; to calm his nerves.

Matsumoto was being lazy and bitchy as usual, but then started to try to persuade him to drink with her and her friends. It was rather aggravating while he was trying to concentrate on his paperwork. She knew he didn't drink, however she kept pressing on. He is close to his lieutenant, but sometimes she could be this way. And today was one of those days. To make things worse, not only did Ukitake-taichou try to give him candy, but also Mayuri-taichou and Kuchiki-taichou.

'_It must be a holiday in the real world today. There'd be no other reason for them ALL to give me this idiotic junk. And what the hell is Cool Whip anyway?'_ Hitsugaya-taichou pondered. He was pulled away from his thoughts when he noticed petite, winged creatures approaching him. There were nine of them. '_What the hell are these?' _They made a circle surrounding him. He reached for Hyorinmaru but eight strong ones (two for each limb) came with incredible speed and restrained him. It was impossible to escape. The one remaining got up real close in his face and started squishing it around mercilessly with her tiny hands. She then dove down inside the front of his kimono.

'_WHAT THE FUCK!' _He looked down on his squirming body and saw a moving bulge circling around his tummy and then...it went a little lower. He was less than comfortable with something (besides his hand) poking and prodding at it. He couldn't help but get a little hard. His discomfort was short-lived. It shot up and across to his back. Now, it tickled unbearably; he wouldn't let the enemy hear him laugh. He wouldn't give in. The moving bulge then went down the backside of his limb and out the side of his pant leg with a little _oof_.

"What was the meaning of that?" Toshiro yelled, a bit out of it because of what just occurred. He tried to keep the emotions showing on his face to a minimum.

"It's him. I'm absolutely sure of it!" The creature on the ground spoke to the ones restraining him. She flew up to Toshiro's eye level where he could see her clearly. "We've been waiting for you…" she cooed gently as she held out her tiny hand. She had pink hair in the style of Yoruichi (high pony tail with bangs), a light green leafy dress, delicate pink wings, and deep chocolate eyes. She was strangely beautiful despite her appearance.

He was too stunned about what just happened to say much. But he never let his true emotions show. "Explain yourself." The other creatures restraining him let go and returned to their original locations.

"Have you ever wondered why you're so short, but really powerful?" She questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes. Yes I have" he replied stoically and crossed his thin (but lean) arms.

"The answer you've been seeking is quite rewarding"

"Just tell me why I'm short and get it over with, alright?"

"To make a long story short, you are the people of Fay's Fairy Prince!" she squealed.

"WHAT!" Shock, disbelief, and mainly annoyance were clear on his face.

"It's true!" encouraged a male (well it sounded that way) fairy behind him.

He didn't turn to see who it was. The small Captain returned to his stoic expression with annoyance the only clear emotion. "Look. I've had an extremely rough day and have no time for these childish games. The last thing I need is to be bothered by imaginary beings. My day has been way to stressful for my own good. What I need now is to return to my office and sleep. Goodbye." And with that he turned and took a step to leave. _'Even my hallucinations are getting on my nerves.'_

"I can prove it!" the pink haired fairy pleaded. All she got from Toshiro was a scoff. He heard a tiny and faint snap of someone's very small fingers. The next thing he new, his kimono shirt, zanpakutou, and haori were on the ground. The small pink haired fairy was in front of him again and demandingly pointed at something just above his belly button. "See! You have the Rulers Mark!" He looked down at his birthmark; a beautiful, tiny, ice blue and faded white and black pentagram. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in aggravation. "What. I've always had that birthmark. I don't see how it's related to all of this…" She sighed and turned around. She lifted her shiny pink locks out of the way to reveal something. She had the same pentagram, only it was pink with a green and brown striped background. The other eight fairies came behind her and revealed theirs. They all wore similar clothing, but in different colors. Also, they all had very different hairstyles and colors. All their marks were pentagrams, but, again, different colors and on different parts of their bodies. "All the people of Fay have one. The color of your pentagram determines your rank. Only those with special colored ones can rule. White, blue, and black are colors of royalty. The paler the blue, the more authority. Your Mark is at the very top. "

"Whatever, and if my 'special' mark is on my stomach, why go lower than it?" A huge blush that was redder than a neighboring fairy's hair couldn't be helped by her.

"W-well, I heard r-rumors...a-a-aaand I just wanted to s-s-sssee f-for myself i-if they were t-t-true" Her blush growing a deeper shade of red with each word. he had no idea that anyone's face could get that shade. It was very new to him.

"What rumors?" he asked annoyed, but intrigued.

"Th-th-that i-i-its...big." She whispered and hid her face soon afterword.

"And?" He pressed on while wondering who started those rumors. Once he found them, he would knock some sense into them.

"W-w-www-wellllll...they were... ummmm"

Toshirio was getting annoyed at how long it was taking her to answer a simple question. "Just spit it out already"

"TRUE!" She shouted, extremely embarrassed.

"Anyways, you need to come with us" A slightly smaller, black-haired, short hairstyled, purple winged, purple clothed fairy spoke as she flew up to the pink-haired fairy's side.

Hitsugaya-taichou sighed, a bit annoyed with all of this."I will do no such thing. As I said before, I have no time for child's play. I'm tired and would like to return to my home for some rest. Goodbye." Toshiro replied coldly as he put his clothing and zanpakutou back on. He turned around and began running.

"W-wait! Y-you can't leave! You have to return to your people! Let me explain! You went missing when you were an infant! Now that we found you we've come to take you home! Your parents will be so happy! Believe me, you are our prince!" the main fairy implored flying after him.

Toshiro scoffed at that idea. There was absolutely no way he could be a prince. And he would NEVER be a fairy one. It was possible since he had no parents, but that notion was utterly ridiculous. He hid his spiritual pressure and shunpo'd out of the area. He was soon under his covers, not bothering to take off his clothes, and fell asleep with the silver light of the moon watching over him.

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**A/N:** _**PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Yello! Here's chappy 2! Thanks for all the support, this chappy probably isn't as funny as the first one. Toshiro has a potty mouth! *gasp*  
Anyways, sorry i haven't updated in a while. I finished it a while ago, but edited it today. I got distracted by watchin Code Geass and never got back to this. I also raided my library a bit. But, i'm back! School for me starts August 2 and i'm gona be on the tennis team (hopefully) so i'll try to keep this up.

Anyways to the anyways, READ PLZ!

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The icy captain awoke from his slumber, and stretched his arms over his snowy head. A light yawn escaped his lips as he shuffled over to the open window to gaze at the sunrise. The golden rays illuminated the sky in a sea of vast colors that shined upon the frosty ground, melting the ice that had accumulated during the night. This was one of his favorite times of the day; when the sun met the horizon in a dance of colors. It was beautiful to the core and brought back only happy memories. It was also, WAY before Matsumoto got up. Way before most people in general got up; so hopefully, someone or something wouldn't ruin his good mood. Matsumoto generally came around 1 in the afternoon for some sake, so he had some free time.

The rays of the sun caught the dirt on his skin and brought it to his attention. Realizing he needed to be cleaned because of last nights walk, he decided to take a shower. The icy captain grabbed a towel from the closet and a new pair of clothes, a bit annoyed by the fact that he had to stand on his tippy-toes to reach them. _'Damn Matsumoto; taking advantage of my short stature. Why the fuck does gravity hate me?_' He carried the bundle of stuff to his bedroom door. But, something made him stop in his tracks and glare at it. A small, thick, and golden piece of paper was taped to the door. There was writing on it that looked like a beautifully unique form of calligraphy with a viney-flower border. **'You can't run from the truth, please don't ignore this'** the note read. Toshiro scoffed as he carelessly threw the note far over his shoulder and onto his neat futon (Toshiro-chan's a good boy and makes his bed, even though he didn't feel like putting it away). He wanted to keep it because the penmanship was too beautiful and he hoped he could, one day, write like that. _'There is no way in hell I could be a fucking royal fairy. Someone just wants to get even with me. Maybe that bastard Aizen is pulling this prank. He would be the type of person to do so, that backstabbing megalomaniac bitch.' _

He slid open the door and then stepped in something. It had a cool, indescribable feeling (I don't feel like typing out the description). The small captain looked down on his foot encased in something white. On the side, it said: _**To- Toshiro, From- Ukitake, Mayuri, and Byakuya—ENJOY~!**_ It appeared to be a big bucket of Cool Whip. Never actually trying it before (he gave it to Hinamori), he bent down and scooped some of the white fluff onto his bony finger. He stood up straight, again, and brought it up to his face, examining it with his eyes. He quickly put his finger in his mouth and tasted the fluffy delight. His eyes went wide at the surprisingly amazing taste of it. The icy captain came to a sudden realization. '_I…I… have a weakness! This...Cool Whip__...__ is the best fucking thing I've ever tasted! It's better than watermelons!' _He took his bare foot out of the delicious whipped topping and hopped-shoved the bucket into his near-empty closet. _'Hopefully, Matsumoto won't find out about this shameful abomination. Or I'll never hear the end of it._' He shivered (one footedly) at the thought of Matsumoto's constant teasing.

He began his short journey to the bathroom (which was across the hall). He hopped there on his left foot because his right one was entirely encased by Cool Whip. He was continuing to deny it (liking cool whip and being a **fairy**) with his jumbled thoughts as he entered the tiled room. The icy captain shoved the door closed and dropped his belongings onto the towel rack. He made sure the shower head was on before turned on the barely warm water with a twist of the knob. _'Fuck. It's gonna be hard to literally 'hop' into the shower.' _He began to undress on his one foot and felt his clothes go over something unfelt before. He was stark naked, but as he hopped-turned to go into the semi-cold shower, he noticed something in the mirror. Toshiro was extremely confused as to what could be a beautiful, icy blue and protrude from his back. The icy captain kept his body sideways and turned his head towards the mirror above the sink. What he saw made run backwards to the wall across from the mirror and scream bloody murder.

**"WHAT IN THE MOTHER FUCKING HELL! HOLY PENGUIN SHIT! CUNT, WHORE, BITCH, PUSSY, DICK, FUCK, BARBARA STREISAND!"** he bellowed at the top of his lungs. There were not one, but TWO things on his back. They were a small pair of delicate wings. He hyperventilated and hugged himself, feeling like a complete psychopathic lunatic. "Calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down…." The shaking icy captain quietly chanted. Once his breathing and blood pressure returned to almost normal, he looked back at the mirror. As he turned his body to the side to get a better look, he tested his wings. He moved them up and down and every direction possible.

"It's not so bad. My shinigami garb will cover it up fine. It will. It has so far." Convincing himself with that statement, he returned to the calm state he was in before his sudden realization. _'Fuck. I got Cool Whip all over the floor. I'll clean it up later, though. Sadly, I can't eat it, now (cause it was on my dirty foot but it's now on the dirtier floor). And my screams probably woke Matsumoto. Goddamnit, speak of the fuckin devil.' _

"Hitsugaya-taichou, is everything all right? What's wrong?" she knocked on the door gently. Her voice had a motherly care to it.

"Nothing. I'm fine. I was just surprised by something." He replied stoically.

"Well…." She decided to investigate it later and also, she was thirsty, "Alright then! Just holler if you need me! I'm goin to hang out with Hisagi. Later!" her voice returned to its normal.…whatever you wanna call it. Happiness. Buoyancy. Cheer…. yeah.

Her footsteps were heard leaving as Toshiro sighed. Remembering his reason for being in the bathroom, he got in the shower. The semi-cold water cooled him down as he leaned his head against the shower wall, feeling more tired and weak than he had previously. Staring at the drain, he decided to just forget everything about this situation and to not concern himself with it. It wasn't worth his time. He lifted his head and began to wash his snowy hair. Once he was done with that, it didn't take long for him to wash the rest of himself because of his vertically challenged-ness. A melancholic look came across his face when he saw the remaining Cool Whip float down the drain. He felt something wash his delicate wings with the soft soap. The tiny hands massaging those tiny but strong muscles felt so…._good. _He couldn't help but moan in pleasure as he put his hands on the cold, tiled wall in front of him to steady himself. His teal eyes fluttered closed in lust. He arched his back and threw back his head in pleasure. A throbbing sensation occurred in his dick as he got hard... really hard. Suddenly, the tiny hands left his wings. The icy, yet completely and speechlessly turned on, captain muttered something unrecognizable by the creature behind him.

"Seems like I found ya sweet spot. And wat did ya say, my lil prince?" the voice purred in his ear teasingly.

"Th-thank you…" Toshiro stuttered quietly. A small blush tinted his cheeks. _'That felt… fucking amazing! God, I hope he does that again! Wait…did I just let a __**stranger**__ touch me and talk dirty…in the fucking shower!' _ He turned around abruptly and almost slipped on the wet shower floor. The icy captain and a light green-haired (emo styled), skinny, green eyed, red and black clothed, green winged, tan-ish pale-ish, and lanky fairy stared at each other. _'WHAT. THE. HELL.' _

The unknown fairy looked away from the piercing (but shocked) eyes and down at…something. The strange fairy whistled in amazement as his eyes ogled him. "Hoshi was right… it is big. I thought she was lyin. Damnit, now I owe er a lap dance! Oh well…"

'_Fairies have extremely strange bets. Who the fuck is Hoshi and who is this guy? Is he gay? He appears so... I wonder how good of a lap dance he gives. He's kinda cute but sadly he's not my type….' _A small, calloused hand waved in front of his face, breaking his trance. "Knock-knock, anybody home in dere?" Coming back to reality, he shook his head and thought of a partially true, panicked cover-up. "Yeah, sorry about that. I was wondering something. Who are you and who is Hoshi? Whyareyouhere?"

"Oh. Well den, my name is Kaemon. Hoshi is de pink-haired pony-tailed lady. She always thinks things are big when dey're not and I didn't believe er. She is so immature, I think she's a virgin. Well, she at least acts like it. So, I had ta check. I'm sorry. I hope I made up fa it by massagin ya wings. I gotta say, ya gotta nice one…. Your dick, I mean." He replied innocently and pulled a classic move; putting his hands behind his back, turning to the side, his head angled down and eyes looking up, half-spinning back and forth. Something a child would do while trying to get something they want or plead innocent.

'_HE IS A FUCKIN HENTAI! But that massage did feel good... and I wonder why his speech is so fucked up...' _

"I'll only forgive you if…" not wanting to give into his desires of getting another massage (imagine a blushing Toshiro), he changed his sentence "You tell me why you talk abnormally."

"Okie-dokie!" he cheered and saluted, "Dere are many districts in De Land of Fay, and I am from de Natsu District. Fa some reason, each district has its own accents and stuff."

"Oh, is that so?" the petite and wintery captain replied crossing his arms.

"Yup! Ya might wana turn off de water and git outta de shower, it's wasteful. And I gotta go give Hoshi her lap dance. *Sigh* I'll be sure ta see ya soon big-boy! Bye-bye!" And with that, the fairy disappeared… vanished without a trace, leaving a baffled and completely naked young captain behind.

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**A/N:** Meanings...

Hoshi = Star

Kaemon = Joyful

Natsu = Summer

OWWWCH! i need to stop sitting like this! it hurts meh ankle a lot! I sometimes sit with my left ankle, on the ground, bent really far inwards (so my foot is sideways), with my right foot resting on top of it (my ankle). It hurts meh ankle joints! especially when i bring my feet back to a normal position. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it at least a bit! I was lazy, so i didn't include that many funny parts, well it didn't feel like it.

_**REVIEW PLEASE!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Guess what! I LIED! I was tired of writing serious stuff and I wanted to start writing cute and funny Toshiro moments more, so I came back to this. But I probably won't update often, cause I'm in love with my other story. I'm not sure how this is exactly going to end, so **ALL** suggestions or requests are read and considered. I hate this chappy. It's really _really_ bad. It's not funny at all, in my opinion. But it will get better and back to the story, I promise. READ PLEASE EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY REGRET IT!

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The bathroom was clean (no more Cool Whip on the floor because he cleaned it up) and Toshiro was tying his hakama pants on. He then slid his haiori and his zanpakutou, Hyorinmaru, onto his tiny frame and was ready to start the day. He looked in the mirror and sighed. _'At least my wings are tiny enough that they're covered by my clothes. No one would notice anything unusual unless they were looking for it.'_ His stomach interrupted his thoughts with a ferocious growl and a gnawing pain. He put the dirty laundry in the hamper and slid out of the bathroom. He strode to the end of the hall and entered his room.

Once he was inside, he locked the door; knowing full well if what he was about to do was seen by **ANYONE**, his reputation and image would be ruined forever. He would bring dishonor and shame to himself and to his squad. The icy captain half-skipped, half-ran towards his closet. He slid open the door to find his bucket of Cool Whip was safe. A breath he hadn't realized he was holding in escaped his lungs in relief. He got on his hands and knees and pushed the bucket to the side of the closet. He put a calloused hand on the back wall of the closet and whispered "Shield of dragon, mask of the hidden, Kido 58, Unlock!"

There was a small hole in the wall where it once was. It was just big enough for him to crawl through and he did just that. After he was inside, the hole sealed up again. He clapped his hands twice and the lights on the walls and ceiling lit up. The clapper was Toshiro's favorite invention, and oh so convenient. The room was square and large, with a high ceiling. There came a sickly, sweet smell from the back. Towards the back of the room was a pile of sweets that extended towards the ceiling and took up more than half the room. He made his way to the treasure of treats and dug through the various treats; pop tarts, caramel, cake in a box, pie, chocolate, Chinese donuts, American donuts, éclairs, various Hostess snack cakes, lollipops (giant and small), various candies, and many many more. An evil grin appeared on his face when he found what he was looking for: a nice, juicy watermelon. With Cool Whip, to dip it into of course (he brought the bucket with him). He slid back down on his behind and set the green, oval melon on the ground and took out his zanpakutou. He cleared his mind and began slicing his sword through the melon. After he was done, he sheathed Hyorinmaru, while the melon remained in its original state, but eventually separated into triangular pieces.

He fell to his knees and greedily ate the watermelon, dipping it in Cool Whip before every bite. He eventually sat with his legs apart and his feet wiggling. He looked like a combination of a cute little chipmunk stocking up for winter and a toddler. He quickly finished the last of the watermelon and Cool Whip and wiggled his toes in satisfaction. The watermelon had been just the right ripeness for eating and the cool whip was oh so yummy. That was the best breakfast he'd had in a long time. He stood up and stretched his back and arms contently. In a few seconds he would have to go back to being stiff again. He truly disliked being where people had previously been and still are, so he was perfectly happy in this secret little room of his. He shoved the bucket, now filled with watermelon skin, into the opposite corner of the room of the sweets, where there was nothing. He'd take care of it later. He dusted his hands off and put them on his hips in satisfaction. He strode back over to the wall and got down on his hands and knees. He said the Kido spell words and the hole opened up again. He crawled back out and the portal-thing closed. He got out of his closet (no homo lol) and stood up in his room. But as soon as he did, the room got dark and hard to breathe in. His face was greeted by a mass of huge cleavage. He tried to pull away but his head was stuck.

"What were you doing in there, Captain?" She asked teasingly.

"That's none of your concern. I was looking for something. But, now that I've found it there's no reason for me to be in there anymore." He muffled-replied crossly, as he somehow was still alive, and back to the image everyone saw him as. Anyone who wasn't used to it would've died of suffocation.

"Are you sure?" She asked unconvinced. '_Leave me fucking alone, Woman!'_ Her boobs began to freeze up, forming cold, thick ice around them. He hoped she wouldn't be ignorant and notice the warning. "Owie! I actually need those!" She pouted and poked her boobs to try and break off the ice. She understood the warning he gave her (thank jebus) and she pushed him away gently. She knew he was hiding something. He'd never frozen her massive boobs before. But, she didn't want her precious cleavage to fall off due to the cold, so she backed off. She felt her boobs were more important than what her icy captain does in his spare time. Though it would be interesting to find out….

Toshiro was finally able to see and breathe normally, which made him feel better. A deep voice from far away interrupted them. "All taichous and fukutaichous are to have a minor meeting now. I repeat: all taichous and fukutaichous are to have a minor meeting now." The small captain straightened his clothing, his spiky hair, and dusted himself off. He looked past Rangiku and walked out of the door in his usual manner. She was following closely behind. Her boobs were chapped red as ice chunks dropped to the floor (as the massive continents on her chest bounced as she walked).

They arrived at the squad one's meeting room-place-area first and stood in their designated spots. Soon the other captains and lieutenants began to arrive, Kyoraku-taichou and Kenpachi-taichou being the last. Most of them decided to show up, but since it was a very minor meeting, some people skipped out. The head captain took his seat at the front and began to speak in his low and wise voice. "There has been an astonishing amount of increased hollows in Karakura and our substitute is working diligently. However, the numbers of hollows continue to rise. We need a team of four people to go to the human world and defeat them. You would be near our substitute at most times. I'm looking for volunteers first, but if there aren't enough, I'll start to choose people." Going to the world of the living to kill hollows _**once**_ with Ichigo was more than enough for him. He would definitely not volunteer. The icy captain crossed his arms, his body language screaming **'NO WAY! NO WAY IN _HELL_!'**

"I'll go. And I'm certain Ikkaku and Yumichika would absolutely love to, as well." Matsumoto answered first.

The old, bearded man who resembled Gandalf the Grey and Dumbledore to them nodded his head. "Thank you, Matsumoto-fukutaichou. Now, we need just one more—" the head captain cut himself off as they all heard a tearing noise. Toshiro's teal eyes grew wide in embarrassment and shock as a, now large, pair of icy blue wings cut through his haiori for everyone in the room see.

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**A/N:** This chappy was **terrible!** It's probably cause I am lazy and running out of ideas. I know what's going to happen in the next chappy, though. but after that, im not sure. You have to wait for me to update it, which I will soon. Im not sure if the spell thing is accurate cause I made it up, but I don't care. This story is pure crack anyways. Shiro-chan gotz a BIG appetite! He went ninja and nom-nom-nomed on that WHOLE melon and WHOLE BUCKET of Cool Whip! Toshiro is really ooc, but at least I hope its funny. Now we finally know where he is and what he's doing in his spare time.

Nothing happened in this chapter, but **IT WILL BE BACK TO IT"S OLD FUNNY SELF! I PROMISE!**

_**PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Here's chappy 4! It's actually kinda funny! It's not a total waste of time like the last chappy! Wow. 2 chappys in 1 night. But I had fun writing this one. Hope ya like it! :3

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Everyone stared in shock at the large, ice blue wings protruding from his back. They all had their eyes wide, but each with a slightly different expression. Mayuri was looking like he just got his Christmas present (he wants to experiment on him, duh). They all stood in silence for a few minutes, until a familiar voice broke it.

"I told ya you can't ignore dis, meh Big Lil Prince." A male voice teased.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The sudden sound that came behind Toshiro near his right shoulder and caused him to fall to the left on his ass. He rubbed his sore spot and looked up at the one who made him fall. A skinny fairy with green hair was rofl-ing in the air. It couldn't be anyone else but Kaemon, the fairy from the shower.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" Renji and Shuhei were rolling on the ground laughing their asses off. Kenpachi and Yachiru began to chuckle. The room got colder, but they still couldn't stop laughing. This made Toshiro get angry.

"Easy, tiger." A pink haired fairy, Hoshi, appeared at his side and rubbed his back with her small hand. This drew his attention away and the room returned to its normal temperature. All the other fairies that he met previously were suddenly there, surrounding him in a semi circle (at his front). The others eventually stopped laughing, but still carried huge grins. Kaemon was still giggling, though.

"Would you shut up, Kaemon? Gosh! If you don't I'm gonna kick you in your fucking head, you man whore!" A blond fairy with shoulder-length layered hair, violet eyes, pink and lavender clothes, lavender wings, a pale tan skin tone, perfect body, and her mark on her inside left wrist commented angrily with her nose up in disgust.

"You's just jealous cause I saw it and I _know_ ya wanted to see it oh so fuckin bad, ya pervert." Kaemon teased, now lying on his side in the air a bit seductively. It annoyed the fairy immensely. Everyone's attention was now on them.

"You little cunt! I otta teach you a lesson!" placed her hands on her hips.

"I'm just stating de facts, girl. You's just jealous of me and Hoshi cause we saw it and ya didn't. Since you's best friends with her, you's putting all de hate on me. Dat ain't fair, now init?" He teasingly scolded her and giggled.

"Wait, saw what?" Renji asked, one of his crazy eyebrows going up quizzically.

"Ou Lil Prince's dick." Renji and Shuhei began rofl-ing again, but this time joined by Kyoraku, Ukitake, Kenpachi, and Yachiru. Toshiro's face turned red with embarrassment. Kaemon giggled with a shit-eating grin, making the fairy he was arguing withs face turn almost purple in anger and embarrassment. If looks could kill, Kaemon was gonna be in hell.

"I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR SCRAWNY WHITE ASS FROM NOW UNTIL NEXT TUESDAY YOU LITTLE COW FUCK!" she screamed.

Kaemon stuck his tongue out, his mark visible, and pulled his bottom eye lid down. He was having so much fun teasing her. "BRING IT BITCH!" the two fairies flew at each other and started wrestling through the air. Since Kaemon was gay, it was like exactly like a cat fight. They pulled at each others hair and tackled each other, tumbling through the air, emitting girly screams of pain.

"Leiko was always one to get provoked." Hoshi sighed. She was about to say something else to him when Kyoraku walked over.

"Excuse me, do you have a band aid?—because I scraped myself falling for you." The captain in the pink kimono started flirting with the female fairies and distracted them. Toshiro was left on his own with some known but unknown fairies to watch to hilarious fight.

"I have a question, what do you mean by 'Prince' exactly?" Nemu asked.

A girl fairy with a purple afro, neon pink colored eyes, dark brown clothes, purple wings, curvy, relatively short, dark skin tone, and her mark on her left calf spoke with a polite smile (show dem pearly whites, girl! Teehee, lol, sorry I just _had_ to do that!). "We're so happy to have found him after all this time we've been searching for him. Toshiro Hitsugaya was kidnapped as an infant and abandoned in this world. His parents were the King and Queen of Fay and so that makes him our prince."

Renji and Shuhei started rofl-ing (yet again), but it was louder and more crazed. "AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA…a fairy prince…AHAHAHA …this is too much!" they said in between breaths.

"Shut up! I think its cute!~" Rangiku picked Toshiro up and hugged him, his head could no longer be seen from the outside, so it looked like another body was growing from her massive boobs. Toshiro's wings were flapping wildly in an attempt to free himself. Mayuri looked even more evil, Yamamoto was still the same, Kira bowed in respect, Unohana just smiled kindly, Kyoraku was still flirting, Byakuya was very surprised (surprisingly), Nemu was expressionless, Soi Fon was like 'WTFH!'(she was still kinda pissed that her subordinate wasn't there), and everyone else was either laughing or had their mouths hanging open. The icy captain wished a bug would fly in each mouth that was dangling open.

"I knew there was something more to you!~" Ukitake joined in on the hug and it looked like Toshiro was going to be squeezed to death, but no one cared cause they knew he was used to it and because of the surprise about him they just found out. A fairy was the _last_ thing anyone would think him to be. Toshiro was getting very annoyed as his head was being squeezed so tightly that it was even more stuck and prevented him from affecting the room temperature and ice. Also, his wings were trapped and couldn't move. There was no escape.

"So, you're a fuckin fairy? That's pretty gay." Kenpachi chuckled. Yachiru poked her head above his shoulder.

"SHUT UP!" came the small, and now helpless, captain's muffled reply from the massive continents on Matsumoto's chest.

"I'm gonna call you Fairy Boy from now on!" Yachiru giggled.

"NO! YOU! WON'T!" the icy captain screamed, but it was heavily muffled so you could barely hear it, much less understand it. (Thank you Rangiku! Cause Kenpachi would've beaten up Toshiro!)

"Yamamoto-taichou, I would deeply appreciate it if you would permit me to run some tests on him. I have not studied these 'fairies' before and it would be a wonderful learning experience that will be of great use to us in the future." Mayuri begged the head honcho with the wooden cane thing.

"We'll see." He spoke to him. The two fighting fairies finally stopped cat fighting and settled down near Toshiro and started to tease him like nothing happened. The head captain raised his voice so everyone could hear him and they all gave him their complete attention. "Settle down. Since no one else has volunteered, I select Hitsugaya-taichou to go. You may stay if you wish, but you would be under surveillance due to the fact that we are unfamiliar with fairies."

'_Meaning I will have to live with being called Fairy Boy and be experimented on if I stay. I would definitely prefer to be around that retarded Kurosaki than have those two catastrophes happen. Dammit, he fucking blackmailed me into going! He always gets his way. Oh well, there's nothing I can do about it. I guess I have no fucking choice…Shit'_

"Mhnm-hnhm-hnhn." Was what they all heard. Though no one could understand him he was saying, 'Release me you fuckers'.

"Would you repeat what you just said, please?" Byakuya spoke stoically.

"MHNMM-HNHMM-HNHNN!" Hitsugaya spoke, his voice in no way understandable due to the fact that his head was lost in Rangiku's cleavage.

"Ukitake-taichou, Matsumoto-fukutaichou, please release Hitsugaya-taichou so we can understand what he's actually saying." Yamamoto commanded a bit annoyed.

They, embarrassed, did as were told and released him from their suffocating death hug. Toshiro's hair was messed up and his face was red. He bent down with his hands on his knees and was panting, finally receiving some fresh oxygen. Once he recovered, he crossed his arms and spoke in a slightly angry and annoyed voice. "Fine...I'll go."

* * *

**A/N:** Good news- this was a decent chappy. Bad news- no idea whats gonna happen next. I've been making this up as I go along so far and it has decided to fail me now. Despiration is starting cause i seriously dont know what o write! **_HELP!_**

**SUGGESTIONS/REQUESTS PLEASE! **

**REVIEW AND COMMENT PLEASE!  
**


	5. Chapter 5

Ok, so I have absolutely no freakin clue what to write about. I know I need to include Ichigo and I don't know if I should include other characters. Any ideas on how to make the story more on track would help. I might be able to daydream some more humor, just maybe. i know i'll eventually get passed my phase of writers block, but _PLEASE HELP ME!_ If you don't, Beyond and I will remove your thumbs with plyers!

**Beyond Birthday:** Henh henh henh henh henh, fun!

**STB o' Doom:** *sneak-glomps BB from behind* **Review, or else!** *chuckles evily while dangles legs*


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** im soooo sorry for not updating sooner! im a total asswipe! and nothing much happens in this chappy except for some humor, but thats okay cause this whole story is crack so i guess its all good! but lucky for you, im now on vacation/break! NO MORE SCHOOL FOR 2 WEEKS! YIPPEE! so, just maybe, i'll be less of an asswipe and update!

*spins in circles with Grimmjow and Urahara and Gin*

**Grimmjow:** Do I have to do this?

**Urahara and Gin:** YES!

**Beyond Birthday:** Can i take his place?

**Me:** NO! this not an evil time, it's a happy time! Go away!

**BB:** Aw...

**Me:** I'm so mean. Anyways, **READ MEH CHAPPY!**

* * *

"Bye! See you all soon!" Rangiku waved goodbye to the other shinigami as they soon passed through the Senkaimon. Today had not been Toshiro Hitsugaya's best day ever at all. First, he was molested by a gay fairy _in the __**shower**_. Second, he had to deal with everyone at the meeting which was so degrading it was unbearable. Third, he was blackmailed and didn't even see it coming. And fourth, I can't even describe how shitty he felt after Ikkaku and Yumichika were told. For now, let's just say they laughed so much they went unconscious, which I didn't even know it was possible until they actually did it. Though I have to admit, it was _really_ fucking embarrassing when Yumichika complimented the icy captain on his new beauty. You can imagine what happened when Yumichika started 'fondling' with Toshiro's wings. The look on Toshiro's face was priceless!—all filled with shame, but there was _definitely_ a hint of pleasure (nudge nudge, wink wink). Well, there was no hiding it now. _Everyone_ in the Soul Society now knew about what had happened to him. It would be better _not_ to be in his world so he could escape all that unnecessary, downright degrading, and shameful attention.

Anyways, back to where we were. The exit to the Senkaimon opened up and the group—gang, party, whatever you wanna call it—stepped out into the human world. They were surprisingly surprised that they exited directly into Urahara's dining room-place-area. "Well, hi!" the mysterious man whom everyone thought was always high spoke from behind his fan. "You wanna sit down while we wait for Ichigo to pick you guys up?"

"Thank you, Urahara-san." Yumichika spoke for the rest as they all sat down—Yumichika mumbling something about how the place was not beautiful. Hitsugaya tried as best as he could to keep his wings tucked as Urahara poured each of them some tea.

"Relax, Hitsugaya-taichou. Everyone already knows about it already." With a shameful look on his face, he let his wings emerge. They had grown dramatically in size and pretty-ness since the meeting. He looked like an ice angel.

"Why can't we stay here?" complained Ikkaku.

"Because, to be honest, I don't want you to."

"That's understandable." Hitsugaya spoke blandly.

"You're so mean, Urahara-san!" The rest of them scolded. There was a long pause that grew awkward until Urahara broke the silence.

"So, how do you like your wings?"

"They're fine." Toshiro spoke a bit agitated. He crossed his arms and hope no random fairies would show up again.

"Great! Then why don't you try this on!~" something was flung onto Hitsugaya's head, making the world a red blob. He took it off like it was diseased (like it had AIDS or something) and looked at the most embarrassing thing he'd ever seen in a while. It was a Christmas sweater that was specially made to fit his wings in them. "Happy early Christmas!~" Urahara said with a smirk—he giggled a bit behind his fan.

'_Why the __**fuck**__ does everyone tease me? I mean, __**COME ON!**__ REALLY! If anyone else says anything about me again….GRRRRRRR!' _Hitsugaya sighed and flung the thing over his shoulder. Then, Urahara started to break out into fake-anime crying.

"You're so mean Hitsugaya-taichou!" Urahara sobbed while waving his ass in the air.

"Whatever."

Without warning a new presence was felt within the room.

"Hey! Why'd ya leave us? We was lookin everywhere for ya!" Kaemon appeared out of nowhere and glomped Toshiro around his neck (cause Kaemon's to teeny-tiny to glomp him where you're supposed to). He was soon followed by the other fairies.

"So these are the other fairies? Nice ta meet cha, I'm Kisuke Urahara: owner of this awesome shop. You wanna… make a purchase?"

"Really, Urahara-san? Trying to sell stuff NOW? *tsktsktsk* " Rangiku scolded playfully.

"If this sexy guy is for sale, he's mine! :3" Kaemon rubbed his cheek affectionately—actually purring, now (apparently fairies can purr...strange)—against Toshiro's neck (pulsing, red anime-agitation thingys on the side of Shiro-chan's head).

"Leave me alone." Hitsugaya spoke quickly and annoyed (with an upper-inflection towards the end, ah-thank-you), gritting his teeth, "Besides, you already knew where I was headed, baka."

"Ya still could've at least _tol'_ me again!" Kaemon snuggled into Toshiro's neck and breathed in his scent. "Mmmm—ya smell like strawberries an' mint! *huggles*"

'_Awkward…okay—__**WHAT THE FUCKING HELL! **__I'M BEING HIT ON AND I'M NOT DOING A FUCKING THING ABOUT IT! PAY ATTENTION, BAKA!' _Toshiro thought.

"Let. Me. Go." Hitsugaya commanded.

"Aw, bu' why? Ya so snuggly like a snuggie!" Kaemon teased and massaged his neck and continued purring and rubbing his cheek on his neck.

"Off. NOW!"

"Geesh! Okay, mister grump-guts!" Kaemon let go and hid behind Leiko. A mad Shiro is and evil Shiro.

"Why the hell do you always hide behind me!" Leiko spoke agitated.

"Cause I don' think anyone can see anythin' past you' fat ass." Kaemon giggled.

"**THAT'S IT!" **Leiko pulled his hair and Kaemon scratched her chest. And so, the cat-fight began.

"*sigh*" Hitsugaya pinched the bridge of his nose trying to drown out the girly-whiny sounds of pain as they rolled through the air in front of his head. Yumichika was disgusted of the 'unbeautiful-ness' Leiko was showing (he has a thing for Kaemon now, if ya get meh drift *wink*). Urahara was smirking behind his fan, and Ikkaku was waiting to see who would win the petty fight. The fairies were all standing off to the side making bets on the outcome—money was noticeably being exchanged.

"**AAAAHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK!"** the fairies stopped fighting as everyone turned toward the door to find Ichigo passed out on the floor with swirlys for eyes.

* * *

**A/N:** LOL! i don't care if chappy was bad, it was fun to write!

**Grimmjow:** Thank whoever's up there the pointless spinning thing is over!

**Me:** *sneak glomp from behind*

**Grimmy:** What the fuck are you doing?

**Me:** Making you give me a piggy back ride

**Grimmy:** On one condition, you lose some weight

**Me:** *GASP* You did NOT just say that! **GIN-KUN!**

**Grimmy:** oh, fuck

**Me:** hehehe *gets popcorn and watches as Grimmy runs for his life*

_PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR IN YOUR LIFE,_

_AND MY CRAZY SIDE SKITS INVOLVING CHARACTERS THT DON'T BELONG AT ALL NEAR EACH OTHER,_****

**_REVIEW!_**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** holy shit, this chappy is short! well, at least i updated :) not the best chappy, but decent, i guess.

*dances around with Grimmjow and Gin*

**Grimmjow:** this is so degrading... i hate you *death glare*

**STB o' Doom:** EEP! *hides behind Gin*

**Beyond Birthday:** i keep telling ya to let me take this sorry bastards place! and i did enjoy that lemon you wrote *purrs*

**STB o' Doom:** HENTAI-ALERT! *clings to Gin who huggles back* AND IT'S NOT EVIL TIME, IT'S HAPPY TIME, BAKA! LIKE AT A BAR IN LOUISIANA WHERE YOU CAN GET SIX SHOTS FOR TWO BUCKS! well, somewhat...

**BB:** awwww... *shuffles away with head down*

**STB o' Doom:** dammit, i always do this to him! aw well, at least i have Gin *purrs* *Gin picks up STB* now, **READ DAH CHAPPY!**

* * *

"-igo…Ichigo..wake up you lazy bastard!~" Urahara's voice was heard and Ichigo opened his eyes. He found himself in a closed room and on a futon.

"Dammit, what the hell happened?" Ichigo groaned while sitting up, holding his head in one hand.

"Well, ya passed out, hit your head on the table, bled everywhere, and stained my carpet. Ya owe me 20 bucks in cleaning supplies and labor." Urahara chuckled evilly behind his fan.

"Fuck, I don't have any money with me now. I'll pay you back when I get it, ya greedy bastard." He scowled and scratched his head.

"Riiiiiiiight, lets just go with that, m'kay?~" Urahara joked and chuckled. A few seconds later, Toshiro walked in, his ice-blue sparkly wings clearly visible. Ichigo and Toshiro were staring straight at each other.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!" Ichigo screamed and blood sprayed from his nose as he fell backwards with swirlys for eyes. His arms and legs were frozen in the air.

"Goddammit, Ichigo! Quit bleeding on my carpet every time you're here! It's getting fucking annoying, alright? I know Toshiro's goddamn sexy now that he's a fairy but you're killing my carpet ya donkey raping shit eater!" Urahara picked Ichigo up by his shirt and shook him a couple times, and threw in a good slap or two.

Ichigo finally came around again and Toshiro blushed. _'Jesus fucking Christ, why the hell am I so…'_sexy_' all of the sudden?' _ As if to answer his question, Kaemon appeared on Hitsugaya's shoulder. He was lying down on his side, in a kind-of provocative way.

"Cause ya wings bring out the beautiful color of you' eyes and enhance evr'y curve of yo' cute lil body." Kaemon pinched Toshiro's cheek and giggled.

"No one asked you, pervert." Toshiro replied coldly while his blush deepened. He swatted away his tiny hand harshly.

Ichigo was awake now and staring at Toshiro with lust-filled eyes. _'Creepy…very fucking creepy…'_ Toshiro thought as he slowly stepped back.

"Oh yea, Inoue sent you some 'Get Well' flowers, Ichigo!~" Urahara flung the lilies at Ichigo's head, encasing his vision in a world of green and pink. It looked like Ichigo's head had been eaten by and evil bush of lilies, or something. Toshiro laughed softly (cause we all know he hates Ichigo) while Kaemon tumbled through the air like a maniac laughing his ass off. When the green-haired fairy calmed down, a rainbow-colored light bulb went off above his head.

"Speakin' of flowers, that reminds meh!" Kaemon dropped a crown made of flowers on Toshiro's head. "Ya like?"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU PUT ON MY FUCKING HEAD!" Hitsugaya screamed at Kaemon.

"Now, now kiddies, inside voices. I made ya a lil crown of flowers, seein as you're my lil prince an' all." He giggled and teased the abused captain. All the other fairies could be heard trying to muffle their laughter outside the door.

"ARGHA-BLEOGA-BLARGHA-TARDLE-OGAFRAYED-SYDER-NERF-BLEOGA!" Toshiro was so stressed and frustrated at everyone teasing him he lost the ability to form coherent sentences and thoughts. He flailed his arms wildly and the crown of flowers bounced in his spiked hair.

"That's so fuckin priceless!" Ichigo and everyone else laughed their asses off. This pushed Toshiro to his breaking point.

"ENOUGH!" Hitsugaya screamed and the room became deadly cold, "REIN OVER THE FROZEN HEAVENS, HYORINMARU!"

Twenty minutes later, Ichigo was passed out along with Urahara—both with nosebleeds (I guess Toshiro's bankai was too sexy for them to handle). Toshiro was being restrained by Ikkaku and Rangiku, and Yumichika was protecting the fairies cause they were too 'beautiful' to harm—well, except Leiko, whom he let freeze. After a few minutes of Toshiro's worn-out body's struggling, he finally calmed down and went limp. The frozen flowers fell from his head as he was dragged to the next room. Kaemon picked them up and placed them on the exhausted prince's head again. He giggled at what the future would bring.

"Kaemon, ya owe me a lap dance cause Leiko freezed!" Hoshi teased while fanning herself with her earned money.

"GODDAMMIT!" Kaemon stomped his foot.

* * *

**A/N:** whew! glad that's over with! now i can try sleeping cause im exhausted. i had a dressage lesson and the teacher busted my ass.

**Grimmjow: **why the hell does this crazy bitch do this to me?

**STB o' Doom:** meany... Gin-kun, there you are! *glomps* pick meh up, please, Gin-kun! *radiates innocence*

**Gin: ***smiles* Alright, hun. *picks STB up and kisses forehead*

**Grimmjow:** why the fuck are you her bitch now! what the hell is wrong with you!

**Gin:** have you ever had her cookies?

**Grimmjow:** no. why?

**Gin:** ... *hands him a cookie and kisses STB's forehead*

**Grimmjow:** *bites and chews chocolaty-chippy goodness*

oh.

my.

GOD!

**Gin:** exactly *smirks even more and carries STB away bridal-style*

**Grimjow:** *wide eyed* *still standing there wondering how such a yummy thing could exist*

**_PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!_**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** YAYYYYYY. I backkkk! Well, lotsa stuff happened, and I feel like updating and you guys review so why the hell not! I decided to update on which gets the most reviews. And I just might try to make a separate threesome between some random Naruto, Bleach, or Kingdom Hearts characters… it looks challenging and I wana conquer it! Blah blah blah yada yada yada, you've been waiting and ive finally updated, and… voila! READ!

**Grimmjow:** so, you finally got up off your fat lazy ass and wrote something, didn't ya?

**STB:** Yes'm!... and hey! I don't like the word 'fat'!

**Grimmjow:** What? It doesn't hurt anyone! Fat-fatty-fat-fat-fat.

**STB:** NOOOOOOOO!

**Grimmjow:** Wha—

**STB:** NOOOOOOOOOOO

**Grimmjow:** C'm—

**STB:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Grimmjow:** JEEZ! Alright! Screw you!

**STB:** who screws me? *radiates innocence*

**L, Near, Axel, Grimmjow:** *facepalm*

* * *

Eventually, everything returned back to normal and Ichigo woke up again with more complaints and teasings to Toshiro which earned him a couple more good smacks upside the head (A/N: Ichi just doesn't know when to shut up ;3). After constant teasing, Toshiro Hitsugaya's brain was slightly turned to mush and he felt that he should do some teasing of his own. "So, how'd the lap dance go?" he smirked at Kaemon.

"Shut up, Prince Whitey!" Kaemon blushed as he composed himself, and turned his back to the ice captain like a 5 year old.

Now, I'm just gona let you do the imagining of how Toshiro looked (—hint-hint; **Angry. As. **_**Hell**_). "BASTARD! DON'T CALL ME—!"

"Oh-kay~!" Urahara stepped in and began shoving Ichigo and Toshiro out of the shop, "It-was-lovely-seeing-you-again-Captain-enjoy-your-stay-at-Ichigo's-K-BYE~!" The door slammed shut behind them and Kaemon was heard laughing from the inside. Toshiro let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed his temples. Ichigo blushed as he stared at the sexy ice prince's head (A/N: a little _special_ something is still on his head—*cough, crown, cough*—but let's keep it a secret for a while ;3).

"What the hell are you staring at, Strawberry?" He glared daggers at the teen who sweat-dropped.

"Uhh, n-nothing." Ichigo looked down at his feet and swiftly began to walk towards his house. Toshiro followed the odd teen. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Toshiro found himself standing in front of the Kurosaki Clinic.

"My family's not going to be home for about a week because they went to see the fish in Okinawa." Ichigo blushed as his words didn't match his thoughts. Which were: _'_:& drooooooooool_'_.

Toshiro gave him no response, since he was still pretty pissed off (A/N: Lil Shiro gotz un temp-er tsktsktsk, lol). Ichigo took his house key out of his pocket and opened the door. A worn out Toshiro brushed past him and trudged into the house. He plopped down onto the couch like a zombie and was out like Justin Bieber in a boxing match. G

"Psst! Hey, Orangey!" Ichigo looked away from the drop dead GAWWGEOUS ice prince. With a crown of flowers on his head…again.

"Who the fuck is there, dipshit?" Ichigo pouted.

"OOooo! Spicy~!" Kaemon smacked the berry's ass and then tumbled in front of him with a wink.

"Oh my fucking god you are such a slut, Kaemon! If you were a chic you'd be showing more cleavage than Dolly Parton!" Leiko snapped.

"Aw HELLL naw! Y'all should know boobs are weird! Don' go hatin' the beautiful, girl. Yo' just sooo heartbroken yours look like rotten milk! WHITE AN' CHUNKY!" Kaemon retaliated.

"COME HERE YOU FAG! IM GONA SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL BE SHITTIN' MY SHOE FOR A WEEK!" Leiko speedy-gonzalased her pissed ass over to Kaemon who luckily flew away in time.

"Ewwwww.. that's kinda gross." Kaemon teased, provoking Leiko even more.

"Yea.. and have you even considered that he'd actually _like_ it?" Hoshi appeared on the sidelines next to Ichigo.

"Oh yes, a shoe in my ass has been my greatest fantasy! xDDD" Kaemon rofled through the air and landed in the berry's head. Leiko was still coming toward the green haired flirt with dangerous speed (and I mean DANGEROUS. Like able to kill the dinosaurs dangerous!) that is until a bell tinkled.

"Where da bell? Where?" Leiko looked around like a puppy for it's ball. "Where da belll~!" she whined. She fangirl squeed when she saw the source of the sound. Before anyone could say WTF, Leiko was playing with the bell around a fat cats neck.

"Ummmm….what the feathers…?" Ichigo collapsed onto the floor in EXTREME confusion.

"WHEW! That was close! Leiko has a thing for bells. You're a lucky son of a duck, Kaemon. She totally would'a whooped your azz." Hoshi chuckled.

"So, Orangey…while Lil' Miss Bellsie-blonde over there isn't out to chop off my dick, we need my lil' prince that's snoozin' on that couch. Flowery crown an' all."

"WTH! WHY?" Ichigo picked up Kaemon by the back of his neck and glared at him. Who would DARE take his sexy ice prince?

"Let's call it a field trip…" Hoshi smirked.

* * *

**A/N:** YAYYY! I updated. It wasn't funny, but hopefully nxt chapter will be. Theres more crazy ass fairies involved, I can give you that. And of course more of Shiro freaking out, but I need something else to happen besides those…. Ooooo! I'll have him-oooo I cant tell youuuu! You have to wait! X3 I no spoil!

**STB:** *skips randomly across your imagination*

**Grimmjow:** What the hell do you think youre doing?

**STB:** I honestly have no fuckin' clue. *continues skipping around Grimmy-kun*

**Grimmjow:** Weirdo. This is in no way romantic at all. (-hint hint! Parody of Real Men youtube video by Machinima) (its HILARIOUS! You must watch it!)

**STB:** Not unless you want it to be ;3

**Grimmjow:** uhhhh erm, no thanks… I uh gotta do karate in my garage. K bye.

**Axel:** you are one crazy bitch, ya know? *lols*

**STB:** Yes, yes I am. I take pride in that Mr. Cutie-flames ;3 GAHH! :o *gets thrown over Gins shoulder like a sack of potatos* *pouts*

**Gin:** Now now, Bunnie-chan, no flirting with other characters while im gone.. *smiles eerily at Axel*

**STB:** awwww…. disapointment

_**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IF YOU WANT TO GET FASTER UPDATES/WIN THE RACE, PLEASE REVIEW!**_


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